Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
