We should be called the Road Head Warriors
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
God gave him joint rollers for hands
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Floor bacon is actually really good
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
