Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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