Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
