Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
