Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
What drink are we having for lunch?
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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