what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
