dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
