ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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