Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
