i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
