no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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