I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize