This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
