brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
