I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
