That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
