Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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