So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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