I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
no you cant smoke seaweed
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
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