Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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