he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
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