I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
