hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
