Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
