tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
