I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I had to cum in my sink.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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