Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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