Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
