He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
