I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
