NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
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