is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Randomize
