Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
