She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
