yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
