He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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