I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
