I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Are my feet made of real feet?
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Is that strawberry winking at me??
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
