he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
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