You're completely useless in the revolution.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
