so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
