Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
