Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
you win again, gameday.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize