She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize