JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize