trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
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