yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
