You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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