Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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