I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
