she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
