How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
