who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I'm having to shit out rocks
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
