pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
it wasn't lemon gatorade
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
