Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
