Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
