i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize