I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
