That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
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