I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
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