I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
