I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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