it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Your penis caused this!
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