if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
