I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
