It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize