Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
